According to Brenda Schaeffer, who has written about the difference between love and addiction, addiction is composed of three elements: obsession or preoccupation, a feeling of being out of control, and continuation despite negative physical and psychological consequences. As with other addictions, the signs of addictive relating often become increasingly evident – but often not to the people involved.

As I work with male couples I often see this pattern of relationship soon after a man has gone through the initial coming out process. When they feel a new sexual freedom and at the same time the strong influence of internalized homophobia. The still deep seeded belief by society that to be gay means that you cannot form lasting relationships and you are doomed to be alone all your life. Often men rush in to a relationship, any relationship to have that “feeling of being normal” and use the relationship as a “drug” to avoided the further resolution of the effects of the internalized societal homophobia.

And so it seems that that therapeutic relationship might just help facilitate inner healing after all; that these “moments of meeting” with someone else might also help you to meet with yourself; and that a profound connection to another might also connect you with your therapist within…

The more technology advances the better we are able to identify what years of practices has told us. That true human connecting is vital to our well-being and can produce change.

65% of U.S. Gay Men Support HIV Criminalization

This concerns me. While I do believe that each of us need to take responsibility for the spread of this disease, and open and honest communication with our sexual partners is important. It scares me that over half of the gay men in this contrary would support crimination laws. This is a slippery slope to go down. Remer (dare I say the good old days) when we visited the hospitals to comfort our lovers and friends who were dying of Aids. When we visited the hospitals even when we have no lovers or friends their, but only to provided support and comfort to any one who suffered and were alone. In the streets we demanded care, drugs, research to end this epidemic. Now we are turning against our self’s. “United we stand, Divided we fall”

Here are the top 10 ways to get you into, or help you maintain, a foul mood.

The quote is tongue in check, but the point is well made. Positive psychology is a big part of the work that I do with clients. It is really the way to change your life.

Is everybody a “therapist” these days? Or has that term just been taken over by anyone who wants to align themselves with licensed practitioners of mental health services with letters after their name to capitalize on the sense of prestige that brings?

Good clarification on what at good therapist is.

Medical students experience depression, burnout, and mental illness at a higher rate than the general population, with mental health deteriorating over the course of medical training. Medical students have a higher risk of suicidal ideation and suicide, higher rates of burnout, and a lower quality of life than age-matched populations. Students may worry that revealing their depression will make them less competitive for residency training positions or compromise their education, and physicians may be reluctant to disclose their diagnosis on licensure and medical staff applications.

Like all things humane and full of soul, in a mechanistic society people prefer pills and behavioral techniques — and maybe a little electricity — to talk. It’s popular in some circles today to pooh-pooh therapy as mere yakking, branding it laughably simplistic compared to pharmacology and hardware. Yes, talk is simple and yet sometimes more difficult than making a pill.

Thomas Moore makes a great point that we are not as rational as we might believe or act and can all use Therapy.

A new study suggests children of gay parents are not only psychologically healthy, but often appear to exhibit better social and academic adjustment and a significantly lower incidence of social problems than their peers.

I bet this is pissing some groups off.

Recent studies have shown that heterosexual men are the most satisfied with their bodies, followed by lesbian women, followed by heterosexual women, and the ones who are the toughest on their appearance are gay men