To naturally energize feelings of love and safety between you and your partner, here’s a list off 20 actions that, essentially, amp up the love by amping up one another’s sense of safety in the relationship.

1. Show interest in what your partner says by pausing to make eye contact, drawing near to listen.
2. Physically touch your partner before you get out of bed in the morning.
3. Express nonsexual affection with hugs, touching, holding hands, embracing, and the like.
4. Give a 20-second hug to your partner, at mutually agreed upon times, such as before leaving for work.
5. Talk about a trait you appreciate about your partner when both of you are present with family.
6. Send an “I’m thinking of you” message via email or text at least once during work hours.
7. Say one thing you admire about your partner, when they are not present, to a family member(s).
8. Give your partner a 5- or 10-second kiss at least once each day.
9. Look warmly into your partner’s eyes for a few seconds before and after a kiss.
10. Express something you appreciate about your partner, when they are not present, to a friend(s).
11. Tenderly touch your partner before you turn to go to sleep.
12. Say something you appreciate about the other when both of you are present with friends.
13. Massage your partner’s feet and look warmly into their their eyes (take turns).
14. Listen empathically when your partner vents without giving advice, and validate their feelings.
15. Affirm your partner’s love-actions with statements as, “I love when you express your love by …”
16. Tell your partner what you love about their physical appearance with a warm smile, eye contact and touch.
17. Find humor in something that would normally be a frustration for you, and make one another laugh instead.
18. Smile warmly at one another in key moments, locking eyes for 5 seconds.
19. Ask positive momentum questions, ones that start with, “Isn’t it wonderful that … ?”
20. Express awe for something you love about life with enthusiasm with, “I love that … how about you?”

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

• Gay men are more likely to be pedophiles than heterosexual men.

While that myth was proved wrong by the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics and other professional medical groups, it persists. The state of Florida cited this myth in banning gay adoptions, until the law was stricken down by a federal court in 2010.

To read the other 5 misconceptions, take a look at the full article.

It scares us to feel disconnected from those we love; yet it also scares us when the other does not see, and value, who we are and the unique contributions we yearn to bring to life and key relationships. Upsetting emotions, when not regulated, release high levels of stress hormones in the body.

Like other parts of the nervous system, the sympathetic nervous system operates through a series of interconnected neurons. Fortunately, it works in complementary fashion, as a team and not opposition, with the parasympathetic nervous system.

Whereas the sympathetic is an instant response that prepares you to have extraordinary strength to fight or flee, and the parasympathetic nervous system, in contrast, is a gradual response that restores a relative balance to the energies of your body and mind. We can learn to regular anger and fear in ways that we calm our mind and body.

The gift of listening to one another for understanding, when applied skillfully, is one of the most powerful regulators of fear.

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

In one study of 31 men (who were, oddly enough, all recruited from a solicitation on “classic rock radio broadcasts”) the researchers found that while all scents had a positive impact on sexual arousal, certain smells impacted penile blood flow more than others. What smell got guys most hot and bothered? Pumpkin pie and lavender topped the charts, increasing penile blood flow and average of 40% compared to their base line state. Here are some of the other scents and how they measured up (taken from the Foundation website):

• Lavender and pumpkin pie: 40%
• Doughnut and black licorice: 31.5%
• Doughnut and cola: 12.5%
• Lily of the valley: 11%
• Buttered popcorn: 9%

Have a happy Thanksgiving!!!!!

There are many organizations and small businesses out there that recognize the value of multiple bottom lines beyond simply profit. Building an inspiring work culture and investing in the health and development of their people is an additional priority for long-term business success.

Research supports that certain positive psychological outcomes relate to greater organizational outcomes. Positive emotions and related processes can lead to greater motivation, fulfillment with work, and the ability to cope with stress and uncertainty.

Take a look at how there tools may help you
1) Strengths, virtues, and self-determination
2) Emotional intelligence
3) Psychological capital and positive organizational behavior
4) Level of innovation and change
5) The virtuous organization

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

This therapy group’s goal is to increase self-esteem as it relates to your identity as a gay male. In it, we address the childhood and societal wounds that can contribute to suppressing vital parts of your true sexuality. The intent of the group is to provide a safe, supportive atmosphere where gay men can begin to heal conflicts and issues dealing with their parents, their family, sexual abuse (both overt and covert), addictions (substance and behavioral), and other trauma that can contribute to internalized homophobia and sexual shame.

I wanted to let every one know that I will be starting a group for gay men in January. If you or someone you know night benefit from this please contact me or pass this on to others.

503-583-2037
rma@rmarcandrews.com

mindfulness has four key components that may account for its effects: attention regulation, body awareness, emotion regulation, and sense of self.

Together, these components help us attend to and deal with the mental and physiological effects of stress in ways that are non-judgmental, researchers said. Although the components are unique, they are closely intertwined.

For example, improvement in attention regulation may help us be aware of our physiological state while body awareness, in turn, helps us to recognize the emotions we are experiencing.

A better understanding of the relationships between these components, and the brain mechanisms that underlie them, will allow clinicians to better prescribe mindfulness interventions for their patients.

Hölzel believes this framework underscores the point that mindfulness is not a vague cure-all. Indeed, successful practice of mindfulness meditation requires training and practice. As the technique is mastered, it has a distinct measurable effect on our subjective experiences, our behavior, and our brain function.

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com