When Your Partner Has Had a Loss

It can be hard to know what to say.

It can be heartbreaking watching someone you love suffer through a tragic loss.

The loss can take many forms – a death in the family, the passing of a beloved pet, a career setback, a miscarriage – but the aftermath is fairly universal. Your loved one grieves. Sometimes they grieve HARD.

And, as their partner, it’s not always intuitive to know what you should be doing in that situation, particularly if the person you love seems to be spiraling down deeper into their despair.

You can offer condolences, but what’s your role supposed to be in the grieving process?

Are you supposed to be their cheerleader? Are you supposed to be their drill sergeant?

Should you actually be trying to do ANYTHING during their grieving or do you need to just sit back and let it happen?

But sitting back isn’t always an option, especially if your loved one is having problems with coping with the grief on their own. And, OF COURSE, you want to be doing something constructive. This is someone you love. You want to help. Continue reading →

9 Ways to Promote Gratitude in Your Life

Gratitude is good for us every way you look at it.

According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of California in Riverside, gratitude boosts our happiness levels in a number of ways: by promoting the savoring of positive life experiences; by bolstering self-worth and self-esteem and thereby helping to cope with stress and trauma; by building social bonds and encouraging moral behavior; and by diminishing negative emotions and helping us adjust to new situations.

Gratitude has a number of physical health benefits as well. “Research suggests that individuals who are grateful in their daily lives actually report fewer stress-related health symptoms, including headaches, gastrointestinal (stomach) issues, chest pain, muscle aches, and appetite problems,” says Sheela Raja, PhD, an assistant professor and clinical psychologist in the Colleges of Medicine and Dentistry at the University of Illinois in Chicago.

But how do we get there? For some folks, gratitude is much easier than for others. I, for one, have to work really hard at it because my cup usually appears one-third full. With a few exercises, though, I can become a more grateful person and promote gratitude in my life, which brings many emotional and physical gifts.

1. Go Ahead and Compare

I constantly compare myself to people who are more productive than I am (have more energy and need less sleep), who go to a doctor once a year, and who are resilient to stress. “Why can’t I be like her?” I ask myself. And then I remember Helen Keller’s quote: “Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.” Continue reading →

The Four Greatest

Psychological Discoveries of 2016

Yes, you have had a lot to deal with in 2016. Your job, your family, your finances, and the election, to name a few.

While your attention has been focused on all of these personal and societal challenges, scientists have been working behind the scenes to learn what you can do to become happier and healthier in 2017 and beyond.

Here are four impactful studies that offer valuable information that can guide your decisions and focus in the coming year. Continue reading →