Couple or Relationship Counseling
It can be tough to seek help for your relationship concerns. So much is at stake; often gay couples have suffered for a long time, hoping things would improve, before seeking outside help. It may have become very difficult to speak honestly to your partner because conflict has gotten so intense, or because you’ve had distance between you for so long. We work with you to break the tension or silence and start having the conversations you need to, in order to get close again and re-establish trust.
People wait too long to seek couple counseling for their relationship! Research indicates most people are unhappy for an average of 6-7 years before seeking help. This is very unfortunate and unnecessary, because there are so many ways we can help you improve your relationship patterns and get “un-stuck”. It is also inarguably clear that living with an unhappy relationship is, quite literally, a health hazard. Under conditions of relationship stress, our bodies secrete unhealthy levels of certain hormones, and over time immune functioning is affected.
We offer a four session assessment based on research by the Gottman Institute in Seattle, consisting of a couple interview, individual sessions with both partners, and a hefty set of questionnaires; the material is carefully reviewed by your counselor and then presented to you at the fourth meeting with both partners present. We give you a forecast on where the relationship is headed; we identify your strengths, and if there are concerns, how we recommend you proceed to make needed changes.
Are We Compatible? Premarital Assessment
Using the format of two couple sessions and one individual session with each partner, combined with written questionnaires, we provide you with an objective, comprehensive picture of your relationship strengths and challenges. We give you feedback on your communication styles, your methods for addressing conflict, and how events from the past may influence your relationship in the future. Then you can proceed with shared understanding and a common language for talking about your life together.
Couples Counseling for Sexual Concerns
Couples of all kinds and compositions get capable help and a welcoming attitude from our team. We have sought out extensive training in working effectively with couples on these concerns, which often involve a great deal of vulnerability. We can assist with disparities in desire between partners; lack of sexual energy or interest; orgasm or “performance” problems; generating energy and renewing sexual excitement; negotiating exploratory activities together, with cooperation and sensitivity; recreating trust after infidelity.
We help all kinds of couples find greater intimacy and emotional satisfaction, and rediscover or deepen the delight of their physical relationship. Many people lack the skills to create the kind of satisfaction they long for in relationship. They may believe it is wrong or selfish to want pleasure, or that it is impossible with their current partner. They may have difficulty talking intimately and explicitly, and so remain unsatisfied. They may feel lonely, even in a sexual relationship. But sex can serve to create a powerful sense of well-being and vitality, and we believe it is your birthright as a person to enjoy sexual feelings and share them with someone close to you.
Our counselors are kink-aware and poly-friendly. We assist all sorts of people because we believe many kinds of sexual expression are joyful, consensual and can contribute to growth and well-being. Please contact us if you are curious about how we may be of help to you.
If you are interested in learning more about the couple counseling I offer, contact me and set up an appointment.